Inhale love, exhale worries

The other day I had a moment of release.  I've had trouble writing about it because I can't figure out how to put words to something I still don't fully understand.  See, I'm the type of person that over-thinks, over-analyzes, and over-worries my life.  I have trouble living in the moment and truly celebrating the miraculous joy of the present.  Instead I tend to burden myself with always worrying that I'm not as good as I could be, that I'm doing it wrong, or that I'm missing the mark.  I always seem to ask myself what I could have done better in every circumstance.  While this perspective has its benefits because it forces me to always challenge myself, it paralyzes me from savoring the gift of "here and now", because I'm always obsessed with the future pressure of "what if I'm doing this wrong?".  

It was two weeks ago that I visited her and it all changed in an unexpected moment.  In the midst of the most personal affection, tenderness, and romance I felt the presence of the Almighty.  I began to let go of my cherished fear of screwing up like a deep breath held too long.  I looked upon the beauty of my beloved and released my insecurities with a sincere sigh as I took refuge in the shelter of her care.  Through the touch of the person who knows me like no one else, I inhaled the spirit of love.  Like a wave of cold ocean water, freedom swept over my soul as I released all of my long held doubts, fears, and guilt into the arms and embrace of a human being I don't deserve to know.   In truth it was a significant marker in my life that I will not forget anytime soon as I inhaled love and exhaled worries.

I don't write about this to sound deep, intelligent, or profound.  I hope I didn't come across that way.  I posted this note for my  for my own personal record so I will never forget that moment.  The moment when my Father gifted me love.