Each year the world looks back and remembers the highs and lows of the previous year. 2008 in particular was a year many can't wait to forget as it was a year filled with war (Iraq, Afghanistan, Georgia, Israel), economic depression (stock market crash, financial market crisis, national bankruptcy, the bursting housing bubble), and natural disasters (China Earthquake killing 70,000, Burmese Cyclone killing 80,000). With all the bleakness of 2008, what will 2009 bring? Will it bring any sort of change? Can a make believe date really give us a clean slate?
Most of us will spend tonight in a room filled with people we sort-of know as we try to avoid awkward conversation waiting for the moment when the click of a clock will bring us into 2009. Usually it means nothing. Usually we remain the same as we were the moment before. I want it to be different this year. As I reflected on all of this I began to ask myself; can I start over, or will my old habits and addictions keep me the same as I was in 2008? If my fate and destiny are truly in my hands then I'm going to try my hardest to be a new person next year. Here are some lyrics written by Five Iron Frenzy that incapsulate my thoughts on New Years Eve.
"It's New Years Eve and I'm full of empty promises, I half pretend to keep this time, just like last year. The band is loud and I'm wandering the shadows, wishing I was never here. I persevere. A crowded room, these whitewashed tombs, they raise their glasses high, they kiss the past goodbye.
This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow. My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe, this New Years Eve, will turn out better than before, I'm holding on, still holding out, until they close the door... on me.
It's New Years Eve and I feel my insecurities, are haunting me like ghosts, this sinking quicksand. And then with thunderous praise and lofty adoration, a second passes by, yet nothing changes. I hate my skin, this grave I'm standing in. Another change of years, and I wish I wasn't here.
A year goes by and I'm staring at my watch again, and I dig deep this time, for something greater than I've ever been, life to ancient wineskins. And I was blind but now I see.
This New Years Eve, something must change me inside, I'm crooked and misguided, and tired of being tired. This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow. My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe, in You."
